There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time. Malcolm X
Nothing that we learn in life is too late. The experiences that didn’t go our way are meant to teach us, enrich us, strengthen us and guide us.
Wisdom isn’t something you acquire easily. It is the result of understanding the implications of your journey, both good and bad. You would not have the source (pain, loss, resistance) to grow as an individual if you didn’t have unfortunate circumstances. We need them to be the best version of ourselves.
Instead of defining these events as “too late in life,” choose to see them as wisdom gained and an education that no school can provide.
Here is a list of lessons that I have experienced, in no particular order of importance:
Nothing will ever be as important as your own personal health. Without it, you are not capable of helping others. That includes your immediate family. Take excellent care of yourself first. Eat healthy foods, meditate, remove toxic people from your life, exercise, read positive and enriching books. Be the best version of yourself, so you can bring that forward in helping others do the same.
Fear of failure is your ego’s fear of judgment. Judgemental people are jealous people. They are uncomfortable with your courage and discipline to pursue your dreams. It forces them to look at themselves and realize they need to get uncomfortable to pursue their dreams. It is easier to cast judgment and attempt to bring you down to their level. Ignore the fear of failure. Crush your dreams by working relentlessly to achieve them. Be an example for the those around you of what’s possible. Believe in yourself.
Strengthen your mind and body. Exercise and train martial arts. Jiu-jitsu is an example of martial art that never gets easier. It gets increasingly difficult as you progress. You, in turn, become more proficient and capable against the perpetually stronger and more technical opposition. It is a metaphor for life. Life will get harder. Be prepared. Train for life.
Heartbreak will come in your life, multiple times. Relationships will end. Loved ones will pass. It is the undeniable changing of the seasons of life. Be grateful for the moments shared and memories made. Wish your ex-partner well with a kind heart. This was a chapter in your life. There will be more. You will love again. Carry forward the most genuine intentions that you can. Remember, things may be ending, but they weren’t always bad. Embrace the beauty that was shared in those journeys at its most beautiful time. It takes strength and courage to do so but a forgiving and kind heart releases you from harboring any toxic energy.
Love your family unconditionally. Show your parents the love and respect they deserve for bringing you into the world. You have a chance to be anything you dream of in this world, which is only possible because they conceived, carried and birthed you. Perhaps you had an imperfect childhood and harbor resentment in some capacity. You still have a chance to live and thrive. It is quantum leaps beyond the alternative. Be grateful, always.
The acquisition of material possessions will never fulfill you, ever. They may appease you for a short time, but they’ll never make you whole. Only you, internally, can do that. Find peace within yourself and your heart. It doesn’t come from anywhere else. Your attempt at acquiring attention and or possessions is an attempt at inflating a sensitive ego. Realize the futility in this process and move past it.
“There is nothing outside of yourself that can ever enable you to get better, stronger, richer, quicker, or smarter. Everything is within. Everything exists. Seek nothing outside of yourself.” Miyamoto Musashi
Live in the moment. There is nothing you can change about the past. Harboring regret is debilitating and holding you back. There is no way to definitively predict the future. Being anxious and nervous about the unknown steals the essence of this moment. Live in the here and now. What you are doing at this very moment has substantial implications on what tomorrow and the future will look like. You create your own destiny. Never forget this reality.
The world owes you nothing. It is indifferent to your success and failure. A sense of entitlement is your enemy. Why do you deserve something you haven’t worked for when so many others work so hard for much less ? You don’t deserve something for not giving any effort. Earn it. People who demand entitlement weaken society. They will perpetually be unprepared to fight for what they want. They will lack the character that is formed in the fire. They will ultimately crumble under the pressures of real life. Do not expect to get anything easily. Life does not work that way.
Whatever you aspire to be deep in your soul can be attained if you work hard enough and never waiver in your mindset, ANY DREAM. Move towards your goals through daily action, deliberate action. Build upon it day by day. It will be consistent discipline with the focus being on your goals that will bring this to fruition.
There will be people and events that impede, negate and try to derail your success. Don’t allow them to. Give them no power over your goals and work ethic. It is up to you to stay the course. They are only attempting to put their own failures and inadequacies onto you as a defence mechanism and trying to pull you down to their level. Your momentum towards your goals is a threat to their mediocrity and regressive existence.
To be truly fulfilled in life, find your purpose, an inspiration in your life that’s your calling. Pursue it relentlessly. Make it one of contribution to the betterment of the human condition. There is nothing that will be as enriching as seeing your efforts help others and improve their lives. Helping others will also propel and sustain your purpose indefinitely.
Generosity has its limits. If you’re too generous, people will take advantage of you. You will also weaken your power and influence by debilitating your war chest. Be careful. Limit your generosity.
“It is good to have a reputation for being generous. Nevertheless, generosity exercised in a way that does not bring you the reputation for being generous injures you. If you exercise it modestly as it should be exercised, it may go unnoticed, and you will not avoid the reproach of being a miser.” Niccolo Machievelli
Have the courage to love unconditionally and with all of your heart. Understand that you may not be fully loved in return. That’s part of life. Go all in any way. You can ultimately only control your actions. Be the best version of yourself. Love with kindness, empathy and with no predetermined conditions. Open yourself up to the possibility of being loved in return.
Your family should always come first. Nothing should ever take precedence. If you’re focusing on something other than family, you may be running from your obligations. Are you afraid of something? Are you working to improve only your situation?
Exercise your mind. Read, study art, history, poetry, astrology, etc. Nothing is as powerful as intelligence and education. It may be institutional education, or it may be an individual pursuit. The source isn’t an imperative. The acquisition of knowledge is what takes precedent.
Understand resistance. It’s anything that pulls you away from being productive and pursuing your true calling. I.e.: social media, procrastination, sexual deviation, etc. It will pull distract you and take your essence away. Fight it and always be aware of it. It will forever be lurking close to you.
Treat others with kindness and respect. Live with integrity regardless of where you are and what you are doing. We all have our own moral code which defines right and wrong for us. Do not deviate from yours for anyone.
“Kindness is unconquerable, so long as it is without flattery or hypocrisy. For what can the most insolent man do to you, if you contrive to be kind to him, and if you have the chance gently advise and calmly show him what is right…and point this out tactfully and from a universal perspective. But you must not do this with sarcasm or reproach, but lovingly and without anger in your soul.” Marcus Aurelius
“No matter how rich, talented or great you think you are, how you treat people tells all.”
On your journey through life, you may encounter bullies. Understand that they are cowards. They are unfulfilled and afraid of pursuing their dreams. They look to force their fake persona on the weak. They perceive, however right or wrong, that their target will acquiesce and fold in the face of their attack. Walk away and ignore them. If you are forced into a corner, out bully the bully. Courage over cowards. Fight with the most profound strength you can. Get out as soon as you can. Stay safe.
As heartbreaking as it is, there will be times that you cannot help certain people that need your help. Depression, addiction and denial are real. There will be times you will need to protect your heart from those that won’t accept your help. They are not willing to help themselves, and you will only hurt yourself by attempting to force your caring ways upon them. Protect yourself. It is critical.
Your grandparents have lived through challenging times in their lives. Hold onto their words. Embrace their lessons. Show them love and respect. There is so much love, kindness, and wisdom in their stories, regardless if its the first or tenth time you’ve heard it. Respect your elders, always.
To grow, you need to put yourself in uncomfortable situations. You will only experience growth where you are tested at your limits. Being comfortable breeds complacency. Regression and diminishment are what follows.
“If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. This struggle may be a moral one, or it may be a physical one; or it may be both moral and physical; but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will.” Frederick Douglas
Remember to detach from everything and spend time in nature. Smell the changing of the seasons, walk barefoot on the grass, feel the wind on the shoreline. We have to revisit the essence of who we really are to remain grounded, to destress and to be empowered. As simple as this sounds, it is one of the most powerful lessons that I have learned. You’re alive, step outside, leave your technology behind and become one with nature. It takes focus, beautiful focus.
If you are in a perceived successful job, make a substantial amount of money and live a fancy life, but are unhappy, angry, depressed and frustrated and do not know why. This is resistance. You’re not pursuing your true calling. This resistance is your battle cry. Dig deeper, find your purpose. Do not remain encompassed in the grasp of golden chains. Start part-time working on your dreams. Whatever it takes, move towards it.
“To me the life of a businessman who eats his breakfast early in the morning, catches a train for the city, stays there in the dingy, dusty world of the commercial world, and goes back to his house every evening, and after supper to sleep, is worse than the life of a galley slave- his chains are golden instead of iron.” Oscar Wilde
Forgive anyone and everyone that has ever done you wrong. I’m not saying to embrace them nor tell them. Forgive them within yourself. This will remove any toxic energy that you may be harboring deep within you. This toxicity will prevent your growth and fulfillment. Rise above and be the stronger person. Forgiveness is liberation. You can only focus on your dreams and goals after you have released all the bad energy that is encompassing you.
Thank all the people that were critical and instrumental in positively developing you. Your parents, teachers, coaches, bosses, relatives, siblings, mentors and friends. Tell them how much they are appreciated and how their guidance has helped move in you a positive and productive direction. This is important. Show gratitude.
Be a mentor to a child. Enrich and better their lives. Teach them integrity, kindness, appreciation, the benefits of hard work, discipline and dedication by example. Embrace them with love and laughter. Make their world a better and safer place because you can. The impact will be everlasting. Our children are the future.
“We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.” — Winston Churchill
The pain of commitment and struggle in any endeavor is temporary. The harsh reality of quitting will last forever. Be a finisher. Go the distance. You will grow each time you do as opposed to living in that frustrating circle of quitting. It always comes back to eat at you. Break the cycle and complete your tasks, however large or small.
People you fear or are intimidated by are just like you though perhaps more experienced and confident in their tasks and position. Rest assured, they have issues, insecurities, and flaws just like we all do. As you acquire proficiency and experience in your field of excellence, you will evolve and grow to be playing in the same arena. It won’t come easily nor quickly. You can only gain this stature by being on the battlefield. As you do, the people you feared and revered, will begin too respect you and look at you as an equal. You must earn it.
Business deals will evolve much differently than anticipated. Whatever you did to seal the deal, expect it to develop in both a productive and regressive way. People make promises concerning their own belief that they can secure the promise eventually. Even if they cannot do it today.
Professionals are not perfect. They make mistakes and do things incorrectly. They are human. They are subjective. There’s fallibility in us all. Just because they create your business entity or do your corporate taxes does not mean they will be mistake free. I learned the hard way, first hand.
You can tell a lot about someone by their personal circle of friends. How long have they had them? Are they transient? Lifelong? Are the loners? Be careful. Be aware.
Narcissism and sociopaths are real. They can destroy you if you’re not prepared. They will charm and seduce you, trapping you in their web. Then they will play games and test you. They will use you and discard you after invading everything that is personal about you. Stay away from these people. They are toxic. If you find yourself within their web, stand tall and strong. Be powerful and resolute. Do not allow them to steal your essence. They will back down.
Respect the law and be a good productive citizen. Contribute to the betterment of society as a whole. Nobody is above the law.
Trust your gut instinct. There is a feeling you will get at certain times in your life. It is a powerful, uncomfortable feeling deep within you. It emanates from your gut. It is a warning signal that something around you is not as it should be. Never ignore this feeling. Follow that instinct and eradicate its source.
Nothing in life is ever learned too late. Take what you can from the wisdom people share and use it in a productive way to better your own life and path.
I hope I have provided some points of consideration for you.
Thank you for reading. It’s appreciated.